Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happy New Year!

Long gone are the stereotypical New Year's Eves that we used to know, those that included overpriced provisions, lame music, and crowded dance floors as well as those that were nonexistent the first few years after we became parents. We decided to find some middle ground this time now that Collin and Olivia are little people who enjoy a good, wholesome party.

Yes, we stayed home, but we tried our best to make it a fun night to remember for all (and it was!). This being the first New Year's Eve without the beloved Dick Clark, it was a little strange to watch New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest without the famous icon by his side. Jenny McCarthy is annoying, and, well, no Dick Clark.

The kids played campout in their new tent while we prepared their favorite dinner - grilled salmon, steamed string beans, and mashed potatoes. 

Over dinner we made our resolutions: Mike will be in bed by 10:30 every night, including weekends (reading is acceptable but must be done in bed), I will keep in touch with old friends via phone at least every other month, and Collin will "help people who are sad or need something. And I'm going to help [you and Daddy] go outside and play sports." Olivia, being only two, didn't really get the whole resolution thing. Go figure.

Everyone cleaned their plates in eager anticipation of our next activity, which was making 2013 sugar cookies, and boy did they turn out sugary! The kids made sure to dump as many sprinkles on those babies as possible. Since it was only 9:15 after making and scarfing cookies, we played Father and Mother Time by bringing up last year's countdown and ball drop via YouTube on our living room TV (gotta love the new devices that allow for internet access on your big screen).






 Cue up the sparkly cider and noisemakers! You could feel the energy radiating from those little bodies as they got into the single digits. I was then attacked by blowouts as well all traded hugs, kisses, and good wishes to each other.




 High on the bubbly (juice), the kids wanted to play music, sing, and dance...in their favorite costumes. Sir Master King Collin and his Royal Majesty Queen Olivia entertained us for the next hour with their instruments and silly antics.




We ended the evening with the traditional New Year's song, "Auld Lang Syne," thanks again to YouTube. By the time we did the bedtime routine and left their rooms, it was already 11:00! Mike and I cleaned up, changed into our PJs, and watched the real ball drop at midnight. Sadly, the unopened champagne still resides in our refrigerator, but at least it's not wasted! We could make some good mimosas this weekend and be awake and alert enough to enjoy them. (Sidenote: You'd think our tired kiddos *might* sleep in since they were up over three hours past their normal bedtime, but no, it never works that way. 7:30 wake-up call is another good reason for not staying up all night drinking.)

So long, 2012! Nice to meet you, 2013.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

;(

I was wondering if and when Olivia was going to ask...

"Dat! Dat. Dat?" she kept repeating as we were descending the staircase.

"That?? What's that?" I replied, hoping this is what she was saying and not what I knew to be true.

"Mee-OoooW!?"

"No, the cat doesn't live here anymore. No more Sampson," I told her, holding back the tears.

"No more dat," Olivia said.

-----------

There is nothing more to say, is there?  :(

----------

Isn't it funny how when you need to be comforted the most, God has a way of doing that? Mike handed me a package just a few hours after the above conversation with my daughter, and this is what I pulled out:

 And on top of that, Sampson's vet gave me a call tonight just to see how we were doing and to lend an ear if I needed someone to talk to. How did they know that today was going to be one of those hard days? How did Dr. Johnson know to call just at the right time? How grateful am I to have found such a caring, compassionate vet to help Sampson and me through the final days and beyond?

Thank you, God, for all of this. I feel truly blessed!

Arts and Crafts and the Mole Cartoon

Having one kid who naps for 2-3 hours a day and one who doesn't anymore can be a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I get to spend some much needed one-on-one time with my Collin Monster; on the other hand, we are limited to doing things around the house - no bike ride, no playground, no pool, etc. - since we can't just leave Miss O here by herself. Coloring, reading, building with Legos, Tinker Toys, or Lincoln Logs are our go-to activities, but sometimes I throw in some arts and crafts for a change.

Yesterday, we broke out the pipe cleaners and modeling clay, supplies I bought years ago on sale but just forgot about until we were desperate for something new to do. First, Collin made a blueandgreenandbrown (favorite color) sculpture out of pipe cleaners and macaroni. He placed it in the front window "so that everyone in the neighborhood can see it!" Then we opened up the clay, and he pressed some into the molds that came with the lids. He seemed to enjoy this, but I thought it would be cool to make some animals or objects since that is what modeling clay is typically used for. Thank God for YouTube! We found a girl who was very good at explaining, step-by-step, how to make pigs, teapots, mushrooms, and many other wonderful things out of clay. She was young, upbeat, easy to follow, and kept me and my boy busy for an hour and a half!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSWRfNSSzNU

Mommy and Collin's clay figurines
After creating such masterpieces as seen above, we settled in for some English muffin pizzas, vanilla soy milk, and Collin's favorite cartoon as of late. We found it by accident, again on YouTube, and I still don't know what the name of it is because it's in some other language that's not recognizable to me (it may be Czech, German, or something else). The cartoon has an old school, post Cold War feel. It's about a mole and his animal friends facing simple problems that a three-year-old can understand. I'd compare it to Looney Tunes but more innocent and cute. Collin's imaginary friends are Mouse, Chick, and Snake while his best stuffed animal friends are a cat, rabbit, bear, and duck, so this little cartoon with similar animals makes him so happy. :) It has cheery whistling, music, and little noises the mole makes. If you have a toddler or preschooler, it's worth a look. His favorite episode is the mole as a chemist (Auntie, you would be so proud!).  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M6CXky-xZw

Mole, Mouse, Bunny, Hedgehog, and Frog

Our First Seizure

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse after saying goodbye to the family pet, Olivia goes and has a seizure at the park on Saturday! With no symptoms besides typical tired, whiny clingy-ness leading up to it, you can imagine my utter surprise when she started to shake uncontrollably in my arms. I looked down, and her eyes were rolled back and everything. "I think Olivia is having a seizure," I found myself saying. It lasted for about two minutes. Luckily, I was surrounded by the most wonderful friends who called 911 and kept me calm (not to mention their kids who kept Collin occupied). Mike happened to arrive at the park without knowing what was happening right in the middle of it all, so I had my husband there for support too. The ambulance arrived five minutes later when Olivia was starting to come-to, recognizing Mommy and Daddy and her own name, even if in what sounded like a drunken stupor. They took her temperature, which was 104 and rising. The seizure was febrile and brought on by such a sudden spike in temperature, the body's way of combating the fever. Three minutes later, we were at the hospital right down the road. Who knew I'd be riding in an ambulance with our healthy child?

After giving her some Motrin, cold cloths, and a Popsicle, they wanted to do a urine test for a urinary tract infection. Four (omg, yes, four!) failed catheter attempts later, we had nothing. Poor, poor Livi. The nurses tried to convince the doctor on duty that it wasn't going to work due to her anatomy, but she insisted on having the urine straight from the source. I don't ever want to put her in that position again! [By the way, if a doctor insists on a catheter for a UTI check, don't comply. I was able to take her to the pediatrician on Monday who simply attached a sterile bag to her, put the diaper on, and told us to go get ice cream next door until she peed, which we did and she did, no problem. And no UTI, thankfully!] They checked her throat and ears, hands and feet, but didn't really see anything. So we were sent home thinking it could be a virus (many possibilities were mentioned, all of which I could have googled myself) or a UTI. The instructions were to keep her fever down by alternating Tylenol and Motrin, cool cloths and bath, and plenty of fluids. Not the most comforting discharge, but we followed the directions and were able to keep her comfortable for the weekend, despite her fever sticking around for over 48 hours.

Yesterday I brought her to the pediatrician for a follow-up and to get his opinion on the whole matter, especially since we are headed to NH in a few days. Like I said previously, he was able to rule out the UTI rather effortlessly, and with a quick check of the throat, he saw some blisters and diagnosed Herpangina, an infection of the throat which causes red-ringed blisters and ulcers on the tonsils and soft palate. It's a coxsackievirus that will have to run its course. He said it's on the downswing, and we just have to keep her fever under control with Tylenol and Motrin like we've been doing. She should be good to go for NH! Also, he said if Collin hasn't shown any symptoms by now, he doesn't have and is not going to catch it (yay!). All in all, the visit was easy and much less traumatic than the hospital. She was pretty scared at first but then realized nothing bad was going to happen. Plus she got a lollipop and ice cream out of the deal.

The whole experience was super scary, and I pray we don't have to deal with something like this again. I'm happy to say that on day four, Olivia's temperature is normal, and no medicine has been required. Her appetite is still lacking, and she gets tired more quickly than usual, but her spirits are up, and she's on the mend. 

A very sick Livi on Father's Day morning (24 hours after the seizure)
Feeling better on Monday morning...
...but still a bit run down and ready for a nap by 10:30.



Friday, June 15, 2012

So long, Sammy

Sampson Gregory Jennings
May 2005 - June 13, 2012

I remember going to the animal shelter with my best friend, Kim, back in July 2005 to adopt my first baby. We came upon a litter of three of the cutest kittens: the calm (almost too calm for a kitten) female was black with a white belly and white paws; her crazy (and I mean Tigger-bouncing crazy) brother was tan with some faint markings but no white; and the sweet-but-playful brother with the traditional-yet-gorgeous tabby coat, white cloud belly, white proud chest, white massive paws, big velvet ears, and future emerald eyes was my Sampson.


Originally named Mack, this handsome boy was worthy of a great name, and being an English teacher, I combed the works of Shakespeare to find the perfect fit. The characters from Romeo and Juliet were still jesting and dancing in my head from the students' videos from only a month before, and I couldn't help but think of "Mack" and his bouncing brother as Sampson and Gregory from the opening scene of the play, as they leaped around their sister perhaps biting their thumbs at her. I looked up the name "Sampson" in a baby book, like any expectant mother would.

 Sampson \s(a)-mp-
son, sam-pson\ as a boy's name is a variant of Samson (Hebrew), and the meaning of Sampson is "sun".

I hadn't even brought him home yet, and he was already pure sunshine filling my heart with a joyous light that only an animal could. Of course there was his namesake from the Old Testament, the hero with superhuman strength and long locks. Judging by his paws and ears, I knew my Sampson was going to be a strong, big boy too. But even the strongest demi-god is no match for fate, and even a lion can be weakened and defeated by nature's diseases.

Sampson's first day at home (July 2005) and after Christmas vacation (Dec 2011) right before the diabetes diagnosis

Guarding his chair
I've always described Sampson as being socially awkward. At the same time he thoroughly enjoyed the company of others by finding a comfy spot to relax in the same room in which everyone was gathering, he wouldn't hesitate to take a swipe or vocalize his discomfort when people he didn't know too well (and sometimes even those he did) came too close and too abruptly without his consent. He sure had his territories - his cat house, the railing leading downstairs, and on top of the living room chair - that he was not shy about protecting. Any change in routine or out-of-the-ordinary really ruffled his fur, and his defenses went up immediately. But even though my cat acted all high and mighty and fierce, he was just a big scaredy-cat. It was all just a front, a front that worked well, mind you. I always begged him to let people in the way he let me (and later my children).


The Sampson I grew to know and love was nothing less than an affectionate, playful kitty who melted like butter during a chin and ear scratch and lived for a good game of fetch with sparkly, crinkly balls or crumpled paper. He enjoyed being held like a baby and having his belly gently stroked, and we both had a good face-to-face nuzzle every day. He let the kids chase him around the house and never once attacked them aside from the occasional warning bat if they got too rough.

 He rubbed up on them at mealtimes when they put his food down and didn't mind that they watched him eat and pet him in the process. He accepted Olivia's bear hugs every morning and conversed with her through alternating meows. Like any feline, playing hide-and-seek in boxes and baskets was one of his favorite past times. He was also a champion jumper. I think Mike reworked the gate leading upstairs at least six times before Sampson conceded.


I regret not having more pictures of Sammy and the kids, especially with Olivia as a toddler and one with C&O with him.
His green eyes were strikingly beautiful. I can't help but wonder if the spot he developed in his right eye was a sign of what was to come. Was it related to the diabetes, or was it separate condition? Did it contribute to his getting sick? I'll never know.

Speaking of Mike, I have to give him a lot of credit and thank him from the bottom of my broken heart for making it possible to share our lives with a furry son and friend. He is allergic to cats and is far from a cat person, but because he loves me so much, he agreed to make Sampson a part of our family. Though he never pet Sampson or called him by any other name than "the cat," he still cared for him as if he were his own. He built Sampson a house to climb, scratch, and nap in, and when that house got too small for our tiger, he constructed a more spacious design. It was so big that my sister decided to give it a test  drive one night, much to Sampson's chagrin. Mike cleaned his litter box for over two years while I was pregnant and nursing babies. He fed him and changed his water any time I was away. If Mike was in charge of the family dinner, he would throw some scraps of meat in Sampson's dish for a yummy snack. He built a cat-friendly entrance and ramp for him to use to get downstairs once all the childproofing happened. For a non-cat person, my husband has been most caring and thoughtful.

As we were lying in bed last night sharing memories of Sampson, Mike confessed that he had already started to do things for the cat that evening and had to stop himself after realizing the cat was gone. He put the blinds back down, for there wouldn't be any birdwatching at sunrise the next morning, and he shut the gate leading downstairs since access to the litter box was no longer needed. And then he said, "It's going to be weird at the grocery store on Friday not picking out his food for the week." So while Sampson was simply "the cat" to Mike in the beginning, he was THE cat by the time he left. 

Our first Christmas card picture was with Sampson. He was just about seven months old. He loved the holidays, as many cats do, because of the plethora of boxes, paper, bows, ribbons, ornaments, etc. Our house was a toy store just for him.
Easter was another favorite of Sampson's, again because of the baskets, flowers, eggs, and other extra things to play with.

How did we get here?

Yesterday I was stroking a warm body of silky fur and listening to the motor of a kitty who was sick but very much alive, yet today I had to stop vacuuming because as each clump and wisp of Sammy hair disappeared into the power nozzle, another piece of him was gone. I was erasing him.

How do you explain to a toddler and her 3-year-old brother that their beloved pet will no longer be greeting them at the bottom of the stairs for breakfast or at the front window after an afternoon walk? Since I was told of Sampson's fate literally minutes before picking Collin up from camp, he saw me at my worst and asked why Mommy was so sad. I had never planned out a preschool version of what death was before yesterday; I just spoke from my heart.

"The vet cannot help Sampson feel better anymore, but God can make him feel better in heaven. Today Sampson will be going to see God in heaven. And while I'm happy he is going to be happy and healthy up there, I am still going to miss him so much. That's why Mommy is sad."

"But God can just shoop him back to our house as soon as he feels better, Mommy. He'll be back in a few minutes," my innocent, hopeful son replied.

"No, he is going to stay in heaven to help God make all the other kitties and puppies who are sick feel better too. God needs him to be a friend to them."

"But when all the animals feel better, they can come home. Sampson will be home in a little while," Collin rationalized. 

[Gulp.]

"Heaven is Sampson's home now, honey. God is taking care of him. It's his time to go be with God. I'm sorry, buddy, but I promise he is going to be happy and playing up there with all the other animals."

"When I get enough money, I'm going to buy a rocket booster and fly up to heaven to see Sampson and God, Mommy. Is heaven in the sky? It's in space, right?"

[He was really trying to fix the problem and make me feel better. God bless my Collin Monster.]

"You can think of it like that. Heaven is out there somewhere in the universe; we just can't see it, but we know it's there. We feel God is there for us and with us."

"And God has a rocket ship he can fly around in!"

[Gotta love a little kid's imagination! Whatever works, right? He was trying to make sense of it all in his own way. It was a sweet moment, even if under the saddest of circumstances.]

This is Sammy Cat, one of Collin's favorite bedtime pets (before Hoppitt came this Easter, Sammy Cat was THE favorite). A sweet and thoughtful student of mine gave this little guy to me in 2006 after listening to me go on and on all year about my cutie kitten. Little did she know he would be my firstborn's nighttime companion and now a tangible symbol of the cat with the same name that we love so much. For the past two days, I feel like I need Sammy Cat more than Collin does.
Later, Mike came home from work to be with me for what was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do aside from attending funerals of family members. The decision to euthanize my first baby was not an easy one, nor was it much of a choice. Sampson was well into a severe state of DKA, or diabetic ketoacidosis, which developed as a result of not having enough insulin. He was a hard one to regulate because his disposition did not make it easy to administer shots and do regular glucose testing, which is what he needed to stay healthy. We even had the vet come to the house to try for a blood test at one point with no luck. Also, with two kids and only one parent earning a solid income, we didn't have the cash flow for as much insulin and special food as Sampson required. DKA would mean Sampson staying at an emergency animal hospital for IV fluids, testing, medications, more testing, poking, proding, etc., and all that stress and thousands of dollars later would not even guarantee a picture of good health. In the end, my kitty was feeling miserable, suffering, and on the brink of death. The only humane thing to do was put him to rest.

On the way out of the house to say a final goodbye to my friend, I asked Collin if there was anything he wanted me to tell Sampson. You want to know what he said? In true, smiling, Collin fashion he exclaimed, "Happy God!!!" My sister-in-law (who is a saint and rushed right over to be with my kids while Mike and I went to the vet to be with Sampson) and I both felt that one straight to the heart. He said it like leaving life on Earth for life in heaven was just another celebratory holiday, like a happy birthday! or merry Christmas! And you know what? He's right, isn't he? Maybe I should try to take a lesson from my wise-beyond-his-years son and celebrate the fact that Sampson is comfortable and enjoying all that God's kingdom has to offer, including spending time with our other beloved pets that have passed on (Kramer, TJ, Moonie). Happy God! indeed.

So after a final chin-and-ear-scratch, belly rub, and cuddles that would never be enough, I watched my SammyDoo squint and wink his eyes at me, letting me know that everything was going to be okay, as I sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to him. And now when I look up at the sun and the stars, I can imagine Sampson riding around the universe on God's rocket ship, watching over our family as all angels do.

Rest in peace, Sammy. I love you so much. <3

Sampson was an indoor cat for the most part, but he spent many hours outside on our patio hunting bugs and insects. He even had a run-in with a baby opossum one summer. He didn't know what to do with the thing, especially when it played dead (they really do that)! Btw, the picture at the bottom right was taken just a month ago. As you can see, he was doing so well! I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be writing about his passing on the blog today.   

Mike and I picked out a nice rhododendron and some annuals to plant in his favorite hunting spot (see large picture above) as a tribute to what an awesome family member he was. We're all really going to miss that guy. ;(

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Half Year Milestones

Yesterday at Dinosaur Park
Collin is officially 3-and-a-half today, even though he has been telling everyone, including random people at stores, parks, etc., that he is at least six months older than three since January. I suppose I've been fooled into thinking he is much older than three too, especially when I caught him doing a word find last week and getting frustrated that he couldn't find "pap-er" (he said it like 'flapper'). "Mommy, I can't find paper!" Confused, I say from the kitchen, "What is pap-er?" He replied, "Here, in this activity book." I go over and see he is pointing to the word, "paper," and then see some attempts at circling other words from the list in the puzzle. "Oh, you mean the word paper!" Collin assures me, "No, Mommy, it's pAAHp-er." Instead of arguing, I say, "Right, paper. Let's look...oh, here it is." Then I made the mistake of circling it for him, and I heard about five straight minutes of whining and crying about how he wanted to find it and circle it, and now that I did it in crayon, he couldn't erase my marks. Really?? Last I checked you were three, not five or six. Shouldn't you be coloring outside the lines or singing ABCs? No, not Collin. He is always trying read by sounding out the letters, and he is successful as long as there isn't some dumb English language rule preventing him from getting it right. Another example of Collin's big boy status happened this morning. He proved that he was up for the challenges that come with getting older by dressing himself from head to toe with no complaints or commentary. I just picked out his clothes (t-shirt, jeans with a snap and zipper, socks, underwear), put them on the stair landing in a folded pile, and told him to go get dressed...and he did. Perfectly. He even switched out the socks for a different pair. It was wonderful! And Olivia put on her own shoes this morning as well (minus threading the Velcro straps). What a time saver! I'm really grateful to have such independent kiddos, at least in this scenario. :)

Practicing going down the stairs solo
Olivia had her 18-month checkup today (she turned 1-and-a-half a couple of weeks ago). Her growth chart remains the same (75th percentile for weight at almost 26 pounds, 90th percentile for height at 34 inches, and 90th percentile for her big head). She cried as soon as we entered the room when she saw the infamous white paper-covered table and instantly remembered what that means ("ouch, boo-boo"). The nurse left and the pedi came in for the exam, which calmed her down (she likes her doctor), but when the nurse came back to do the you-know-what, it was all tears again...until the lollipop came out. Then "pee-POPPPP!!!" It was a good visit -- she is doing well across the physical and intellectual boards for her age. She walks up and down stairs by herself holding on to a railing, and she not only understands everything you say but also attempts to repeat every word back to you. It helps having big brother and teacher, "Eye-in," to emulate.

The one disconcerting take-away from Livi's appointment was a retest on hemoglobin coming back on the low side again. She got a 10.8 a few months back (it's supposed to be 11-13) but then a 9-point-something today. Low hemoglobin means low red blood cell count, or anemia. It can be caused by several factors from nutritional deficits to heredity. So now I have to oh-so-fun job of taking her for a CBC blood draw next week to find out the cause of the low count. Booo.

Here are some fun shots from the park yesterday!





Friday, May 4, 2012

Crossroad, Turning Point, Epiphany, Whatever You Want to Call It


Today is the 10th anniversary of my graduation from JMU (whoa, starting to feel old now), which has inspired me to think about who I have become over the past ten years.

I am a scrapbooker and a writer.
I have two degrees in teaching English writing and literature.
I edit a literary anthology written by children and adolescents.
I am a mom of two.
I enjoy photographing my kids and their friends.
I love arranging pictures and videos with music to tell a story.

Funny how these traits are have developed in chronological order and how one quality follows from the previous one...is this a coincidence or does God have a plan for me?

As I sit here thinking about the direction my talents and interests have taken me thus far, a textbook about teaching children with emotional and behavioral disorders stares at me, scolding me for writing this blog entry instead of writing one of my papers for class, a class I am only taking because I need it to keep my teacher's license current. UGH. Is this what a I really want to do the rest of my life? Because if I could combine my knack for arranging a creative visual layout, my writing and editing skills, my photographer's eye, my love for children and family, and my interest in putting it all together in a tangible keepsake AND be able to do this from home AND get paid for it, this is what I would want to do for a living.

Think about it. How many pictures and videos do you have collecting cyber dust as they sit in your computer or your camera? Digital photography is both a blessing and a curse. You can take all the pictures you want to get the best of the best, but transferring them from the computer to something you can actually see and enjoy takes too much time and effort, especially if you have to learn how to use an editing program or spend hours gluing and cutting and embellishing your memories.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, how about a collage? A slideshow? A montage of stills and video clips put to music that tells the story of a precious moment in time?

*Baby's First Year   *Our Wedding      *Child's First ____     *Birthday Party      
*Reunion        *Memorable Vacation    * Tribute to ______    
*From Baby to Child to Graduation     *Baby Shower       *Bridal Shower      
*Girls Weekend         *An Emotional Journey

The list of life's greatest moments goes on and on and on and on. Shouldn't they be preserved so that these special times can be relived over and over again? Of course they should. Who wants to take on the task of organizing a collection of honeymoon pictures in a meaningful way? I do. I can do this for people!

So there it is. My business proposal. I have all the skills needed to make this happen.

But I'm lacking a business background.

I have people who could help me make a website, no problem. My husband is a software engineer, and my dear friend has made a career out of designing websites and increasing traffic to those websites. I have a top-of-the-line computer and the software needed to make the shows. I have the creative vision.

Unfortunately, I don't know squat about copyright, and that is going to be a big deal, especially with the music. Let's face it, the music is really what helps tell the story, but even though I don't know the technicalities of using music for profit, I do know that I'm not allowed to use any music I want to without permission, even if it is the perfect song for showcasing Johnny's winning season as pitcher on the school's baseball team. How would my customers send me their content? What product would they get in return and for how much? What other questions do I have that I'm not thinking of?

Sigh.

This feels so right but also so overwhelmingly stressful and scary too. The fact that I have five papers and two lesson plans to write, dozens and dozens of pieces to read and edit, and teaching four nights a week on top of my usual responsibilities as mother and wife is not helping. I'm feeling good about this idea, though, and I'm hoping to get something going by the end of the summer maybe. MAYBE.