Sampson Gregory Jennings
May 2005 - June 13, 2012
I
remember going to the animal shelter with my best friend, Kim, back in
July 2005 to adopt my first baby. We came upon a litter of three of the
cutest kittens: the calm (almost too calm for a kitten) female was black
with a white belly and white paws; her crazy (and I mean Tigger-bouncing crazy) brother was tan with some faint markings but no white;
and the sweet-but-playful brother with the traditional-yet-gorgeous
tabby coat, white cloud belly, white proud chest, white massive paws,
big velvet ears, and future emerald eyes was my Sampson.
Originally named Mack,
this handsome boy was worthy of a great name, and being an English
teacher, I combed the works of Shakespeare to find the perfect fit. The
characters from
Romeo and Juliet were still jesting and dancing
in my head from the students' videos from only a month before, and I
couldn't help but think of "Mack" and his bouncing brother as Sampson
and Gregory from the opening scene of the play, as they leaped around
their sister perhaps biting their thumbs at her. I looked up the name
"Sampson" in a baby book, like any expectant mother would.
Sampson \s(a)-mp-
son,
sam-
pson\ as a boy's name is a variant of
Samson (Hebrew), and the meaning of Sampson is "sun".
I
hadn't even brought him home yet, and he was already pure sunshine
filling my heart with a joyous light that only an animal could. Of
course there was his namesake from the Old Testament, the hero with
superhuman strength and long locks. Judging by his paws and ears, I knew
my Sampson was going to be a strong, big boy too. But even the strongest
demi-god is no match for fate, and even a lion can be weakened and
defeated by nature's diseases.
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| Sampson's first day at home (July 2005) and after Christmas vacation (Dec 2011) right before the diabetes diagnosis |
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| Guarding his chair |
I've always described
Sampson as being socially awkward. At the same time he thoroughly
enjoyed the company of others by finding a comfy spot to relax in the
same room in which everyone was gathering, he wouldn't hesitate to take a
swipe or vocalize his discomfort when people he didn't know too well
(and sometimes even those he did) came too close and too abruptly
without his consent. He sure had his territories - his cat house, the
railing leading downstairs, and on top of the living room chair - that he
was not shy about protecting. Any change in routine or
out-of-the-ordinary really ruffled his fur, and his defenses went up
immediately. But even though my cat acted all high and mighty and
fierce, he was just a big scaredy-cat. It was all just a front, a front
that worked well, mind you. I always begged him to let people in the way he let me (and later my children).
The
Sampson I grew to know and love was nothing less than an affectionate,
playful kitty who melted like butter during a chin and ear scratch and
lived for a good game of fetch with sparkly, crinkly balls or crumpled
paper. He enjoyed being held like a baby and having his belly gently
stroked, and we both had a good face-to-face nuzzle every day. He let
the kids chase him around the house and never once attacked them aside
from the occasional warning bat if they got too rough.
He rubbed up on
them at mealtimes when they put his food down and didn't mind that they
watched him eat and pet him in the process. He accepted Olivia's bear
hugs every morning and conversed with her through alternating meows.
Like any feline, playing hide-and-seek in boxes and baskets was one of
his favorite past times. He was also a champion jumper. I think Mike
reworked the gate leading upstairs at least six times before Sampson
conceded.
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| I regret not having more pictures of Sammy and the kids, especially with Olivia as a toddler and one with C&O with him. |
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| His green eyes were strikingly beautiful. I can't help but wonder if the spot he developed in his right eye was a sign of what was to come. Was it related to the diabetes, or was it separate condition? Did it contribute to his getting sick? I'll never know. |
Speaking of Mike, I have to give him a
lot of credit and thank him from the bottom of my broken heart for
making it possible to share our lives with a furry son and friend. He is
allergic to cats and is far from a cat person, but because he loves me
so much, he agreed to make Sampson a part of our family. Though he never
pet Sampson or called him by any other name than "the cat," he still
cared for him as if he were his own. He built Sampson a house to climb,
scratch, and nap in, and when that house got too small for our tiger, he
constructed a more spacious design. It was so big that my sister decided to give it a test drive one night, much to Sampson's chagrin. Mike cleaned his litter box for over
two years while I was pregnant and nursing babies. He fed him and
changed his water any time I was away. If Mike was in charge of the
family dinner, he would throw some scraps of meat in Sampson's dish for a
yummy snack. He built a cat-friendly entrance and ramp for him to use
to get downstairs once all the childproofing happened. For a non-cat
person, my husband has been most caring and thoughtful.
As we were lying
in bed last night sharing memories of Sampson, Mike confessed that he
had already started to do things for the cat that evening and had to
stop himself after realizing the cat was gone. He put the blinds back
down, for there wouldn't be any birdwatching at sunrise the next
morning, and he shut the gate leading downstairs since access to the
litter box was no longer needed. And then he said, "It's going to be
weird at the grocery store on Friday not picking out his food for the
week." So while Sampson was simply "the cat" to Mike in the beginning,
he was THE cat by the time he left.
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| Our first Christmas card picture was with Sampson. He was just about seven months old. He loved the holidays, as many cats do, because of the plethora of boxes, paper, bows, ribbons, ornaments, etc. Our house was a toy store just for him. |
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| Easter was another favorite of Sampson's, again because of the baskets, flowers, eggs, and other extra things to play with. |
How did we get
here?
Yesterday I was stroking a warm body of silky fur and listening to
the motor of a kitty who was sick but very much alive, yet today I had
to stop vacuuming because as each clump and wisp of Sammy hair
disappeared into the power nozzle, another piece of him was gone. I was
erasing him.
How do you explain to a toddler and her
3-year-old brother that their beloved pet will no longer be greeting them at
the bottom of the stairs for breakfast or at the front window after an
afternoon walk? Since I was told of Sampson's fate literally minutes
before picking Collin up from camp, he saw me at my worst and asked why
Mommy was so sad. I had never planned out a preschool version of what
death was before yesterday; I just spoke from my heart.
"The
vet cannot help Sampson feel better anymore, but God can make him feel
better in heaven. Today Sampson will be going to see God in heaven. And
while I'm happy he is going to be happy and healthy up there, I am still
going to miss him so much. That's why Mommy is sad."
"But
God can just shoop him back to our house as soon as he feels better,
Mommy. He'll be back in a few minutes," my innocent, hopeful son replied.
"No,
he is going to stay in heaven to help God make all the other kitties
and puppies who are sick feel better too. God needs him to be a friend to
them."
"But when all the animals feel better, they can come home. Sampson will be home in a little while," Collin rationalized.
[Gulp.]
"Heaven
is Sampson's home now, honey. God is taking care of him. It's his time
to go be with God. I'm sorry, buddy, but I promise he is going to be
happy and playing up there with all the other animals."
"When
I get enough money, I'm going to buy a rocket booster and fly up to
heaven to see Sampson and God, Mommy. Is heaven in the sky? It's in
space, right?"
[He was really trying to fix the problem and make me feel better. God bless my Collin Monster.]
"You
can think of it like that. Heaven is out there somewhere in the
universe; we just can't see it, but we know it's there. We feel God is
there for us and with us."
"And God has a rocket ship he can fly around in!"
[Gotta
love a little kid's imagination! Whatever works, right? He was trying
to make sense of it all in his own way. It was a sweet moment, even if
under the saddest of circumstances.]
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| This is Sammy Cat, one of Collin's favorite bedtime pets (before Hoppitt came this Easter, Sammy Cat was THE favorite). A sweet and thoughtful student of mine gave this little guy to me in 2006 after listening to me go on and on all year about my cutie kitten. Little did she know he would be my firstborn's nighttime companion and now a tangible symbol of the cat with the same name that we love so much. For the past two days, I feel like I need Sammy Cat more than Collin does. |
Later,
Mike came home from work to be with me for what was probably the
hardest thing I have ever had to do aside from attending funerals of
family members. The decision to euthanize my first baby was not an easy
one, nor was it much of a choice. Sampson was well into a severe state
of DKA, or diabetic ketoacidosis, which developed as a result of not
having enough insulin. He was a hard one to regulate because his
disposition did not make it easy to administer shots and do regular
glucose testing, which is what he needed to stay healthy. We even had
the vet come to the house to try for a blood test at one point with no
luck. Also, with two kids and only one parent earning a solid income, we
didn't have the cash flow for as much insulin and special food as
Sampson required. DKA would mean Sampson staying at an emergency animal
hospital for IV fluids, testing, medications, more testing, poking,
proding, etc., and all that stress and thousands of dollars later would
not even guarantee a picture of good health. In the end, my kitty was
feeling miserable, suffering, and on the brink of death. The only humane
thing to do was put him to rest.
On the way out of
the house to say a final goodbye to my friend, I asked Collin if there
was anything he wanted me to tell Sampson. You want to know what he
said? In true, smiling, Collin fashion he exclaimed, "Happy God!!!" My
sister-in-law (who is a saint and rushed right over to be with my kids
while Mike and I went to the vet to be with Sampson) and I both felt
that one straight to the heart. He said it like leaving life on Earth
for life in heaven was just another celebratory holiday, like a happy
birthday! or merry Christmas! And you know what? He's right, isn't he?
Maybe I should try to take a lesson from my wise-beyond-his-years son
and celebrate the fact that Sampson is comfortable and enjoying all that
God's kingdom has to offer, including spending time with our other
beloved pets that have passed on (Kramer, TJ, Moonie). Happy God!
indeed.
So after a final chin-and-ear-scratch, belly
rub, and cuddles that would never be enough, I watched my SammyDoo
squint and wink his eyes at me, letting me know that everything was
going to be okay, as I sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to him. And
now when I look up at the sun and the stars, I can imagine Sampson
riding around the universe on God's rocket ship, watching over our family
as all angels do.
Rest in peace, Sammy. I love you so much. <3
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| Sampson was an indoor cat for the most part, but he spent many hours outside on our patio hunting bugs and insects. He even had a run-in with a baby opossum one summer. He didn't know what to do with the thing, especially when it played dead (they really do that)! Btw, the picture at the bottom right was taken just a month ago. As you can see, he was doing so well! I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be writing about his passing on the blog today. | | |
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| Mike and I picked out a nice rhododendron and some annuals to
plant in his favorite hunting spot (see large picture above) as a tribute to
what an awesome family member he was. We're all really going to miss that guy. ;( |
